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2009-04-25T10:35:04Z

[ Warning ] Some may find my journal very depressing but it's what I go through everyday.

I'm Rachel, I'm 14 years old, although this account is only two months old I've been a member of LiveJournal for about 3 years;

I've never been very secure about my weight since I was little, but when I was 9 I started restricting my calorie intake and working out a lot, I lost 10 lbs in the first week that gave me the motovation to keep going.

The more weight I lost the move obsessed I became, eventually at the age of 10 I was diagnosed as anorexic at 77 lbs and 4'11" tall. By this time, my parents watched my every move and made sure I ate 2000 calories every day, this caused me to turn to bulimia; It seemed like the perfect option, I could have my cake and eat it and not have any extra calories.

Knowing this, I ate more and more, feeling guilty with every bite; every time I binged I'd spend hours doing exhausting exercise, purging into the toilet or abusing laxatives.

A Few weeks before my 11th birthday, I was diagnosed with Bulimia Nervosa, by which time my parents sent me out to Holland to a specialized eating disorder clinic for teenagers. I stayed at the clinic for 8 weeks and went from a frail 70 lbs to 91 lbs. I continued to gain weight when I came back after IP but never recovered mentally; at the weight of 116 lbs I rebelled against recovery and let anorexia take over once again.

I am now 12 and 5'1" tall and weigh 99 lbs and recently diagnosed with EDNOS but I am working my way back down to my ultimate goal weight of 75 lbs.

Troubled Tales

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